I grew up in the 1990s. It wasn’t perfect — there were a lot of cultural trends we’d probably all like to forget — but one thing my generation tried to get right was this: We pushed to bridge divides. We weren’t perfect at it, but we tried. We believed in finding common ground, in listening, in treating people like people — even when they were different. Even when we disagreed.

We talked a lot about the Golden Rule. Not just in theory, but in practice. We tried to live it. That meant kindness, respect and decency — especially when someone’s choices didn’t directly affect us. We understood, at least more than we do now, that being different wasn’t a threat. And that empathy isn’t weakness — it’s a survival trait for a functioning society.

My dad used to tell me, “Do things in moderation — that’s where the least amount of pain lives, and the truth lurks.” It stuck with me. And it matters more now than ever. We’ve lost sight of moderation — not just politically, but emotionally, socially, spiritually. Everything has to be extreme. Everything has to be absolute. But the middle is where we breathe. Where we listen. Where we build.

And there’s something else I’ve never forgotten — from my junior year of high school in my American history class. Our teacher told us that in America, we are a nation governed by the majority, with respect to the minority.

That line hit me then, and it stays with me now. It’s a simple truth, but we seem to have lost it. We’ve forgotten that democracy is not about domination — it’s about balance. About listening to those who are different. About recognizing that power isn’t just something to wield, but something to hold with care.

But today? Everything feels like a fight. Everything is red or blue. It’s “us versus them” — even when “them” is our neighbor, our coworker, our cousin. The lines have been drawn so deeply that we’ve stopped seeing each other as people and started treating each other as enemies. I don’t want to win a culture war. I want to live in a country that remembers we’re in this together.

What we’re missing — maybe more than ever — is common experience. That shared cultural rhythm. We don’t have Thursday night TV anymore, or big events we all watch together. Sure, we have the internet — this endless, sprawling web of possibility — but most of us spend our time inside tightly curated bubbles. We only see what reinforces what we already believe. We don’t talk with each other; we talk past each other. And our feeds become our facts.

But real life doesn’t work that way. Real life is messy and complicated. It requires us to be uncomfortable, to be challenged, to grow — not just as individuals, but as citizens.

People are social creatures. We need each other. We survive by working together. When we wall ourselves off and replace shared experience with algorithm-fed certainty, we lose perspective. And then we lose empathy. And then we lose everything.

We are lonelier. Sadder. More ignorant of one another. We’re copying and pasting outrage instead of living full, connected lives.

And maybe most dangerously, we’ve made “winning” the goal. But when the only goal is to win — at all costs — then the end will always be to fall apart.

Grunge music got this in a way. Behind all the distortion and rawness, there was a deep truth: The world is hard, people are flawed, and it’s OK to not be OK. Soundgarden sang, “In my eyes, indisposed, in disguises no one knows…” We’re all walking around in masks these days, pretending to be certain when we’re scared and confused. Nirvana told us, “I miss the comfort in being sad.” We used to feel things. Now we just react.

I’m not here to pick a side. I’m not interested in Republican talking points or Democratic soundbites. I’m here to say that it’s time to stop the madness — and start showing up differently. Start listening. Start speaking with, not at, each other.

Being a citizen is not a partisan act. It’s a daily choice to engage, to care and to act in the interest of all of us, not just the people who agree with us. If we want something better, we have to build it together — conversation by conversation, compromise by compromise, moment by moment.

The work of democracy isn’t about throwing the biggest bombs, causing the most damage or winning the most arguments. It’s staying, and being fully present at the table, especially when things get hard. It’s about having the conversations, reaching the compromises and doing the slow, steady work of holding a country or community together.

Christy Mathes, a Wyoming native, is a secondary science facilitator and educator specializing in curriculum development for grades 7-12. She teaches life sciences at the high school level and strives to inspire curiosity and critical thinking in her students.

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