H ere we are, well into 2025, and I’m still writing the wrong year on my checks. I’d chalk it up to habit except that today I wrote 2019. Maybe because 2019 seems like only a couple of …
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Here we are, well into 2025, and I’m still writing the wrong year on my checks. I’d chalk it up to habit except that today I wrote 2019. Maybe because 2019 seems like only a couple of days ago to me.
I’m determined to make 2025 last and when next January rolls around, I’ll be ready to write 2026 on my checks. Or at the very least, 2025.
It is possible to slow time down, you know. Try drinking a gallon of caffeine before bed. Or a gallon of anything. One night will feel like three weeks.
You can make half an hour last all day if you check your watch every few seconds. I know because I did it at the doctor’s office today.
And if you really want to slow time down, I bet a year in jail would feel like five. Fortunately I was able to find less extreme ideas on that source of all wisdom, the internet. And as a public service, I’m going to share them with you so that you can start putting the right year on your checks too.
As it turns out, much has been written on the subject. One article I read suggested that occasionally changing our routine might help. That would be easy enough for me to try in 2025. Normally I get up, feed the cat and go straight to my office. Maybe once or twice a week, I could get up, feed the cat and go back to bed.
Several articles mentioned that looking forward to something has a way of slowing down time. I’d agree with that. My watch has practically stopped and right now all I’m looking forward to is lunch.
Neuroscientist David Eagleman says boredom also slows time down and I can attest to that too. I once attended a university graduation that lasted around two and a half hours. But I could have sworn it took 12 days.
All the articles I read claimed that time seems slower for younger people because they have more new experiences to mark it with. As we get older, we have fewer memorable events. Or maybe we just don’t remember them. I’m joking! Sort of.
Eagleman uses the analogy of a video to explain the phenomenon. “The way we estimate duration has a lot to do with how much memory we’ve laid down—how much footage we have to draw from the video.” In other words, if our life is basically the same year after year, we have less new “footage in our video.” It probably doesn’t help that we’re still recording on VHS.
The point is, slowing time down might be as simple as adding footage from unforgettable events. Moving, getting a new job and getting married are some of the biggest memorable events adults engage in. But I don’t have any of those planned for 2025 and I hope my husband doesn’t either.
Broken limbs, root canals and fender benders are all pretty memorable too. And if they don’t succeed in slowing time down, they at least make us appreciate how fast it goes.
The kinds of experiences one puts on a bucket list might be preferable, especially if your bucket list includes thrilling activities like bungee jumping, skydiving or running a marathon. Those would give you some really good footage—if you survive them.
My list isn’t quite as exciting but it’s safer. Among other things, I dream of a good night’s sleep. And finally getting my desk cleared off. And just once in my life, I’d like to get my checkbook to balance on the first try.
I’m not sure how much footage any of those would lay down, but they would be easier than running a marathon and more fun than having a root canal.
Dorothy Rosby is the author of Alexa’s a Spy and Other Things to Be Ticked off About, Humorous Essays on the Hassles of Our Time and other books. Contact her at www.dorothyrosby.com/contact.